Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

They were the last ones who were still at the cabin. Even Happy had left about an hour ago to take the Parkers home. Now as Pepper tried to wrangle her children into getting ready to go to bed, Monica found herself stepping outside into the quickly growing dark. She paused just a second to make use of the moon’s light to confirm what she suspected, then she started to walk towards the dock.

She stopped just short of the dock, wanting to observe the man she loved more than anything before she joined him. Her husband was standing facing towards the lake which meant his back was towards her, and his arms were crossed she was sure since she couldn’t them. It was quickly getting darker, almost to the point it was black out, so it took her a second or so to realize his shoulders were trembling.

“Oh my… James?” she said hurrying to cross the remaining distance between them. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders when she reached him, and had to double down on the tears in her eyes when he turned away to keep her from seeing his face.

"Oh honey, don't do this," Monica murmured gently, "Please don't try to hide your pain from me." He didn't look at her or respond to her in the least little bit, and so she tried again, "You've were so strong today, James..."

Aside from not being able to keep his tears at bay during the time they had watched Tony's last message, he had been okay. Oh there were a few times when she had looked at him she could see he was struggling to clamp down on his emotions, but for the most part this day hadn't seemed all that bad on him given what day it was.

She had finally saw him start to crumble again while they had both been watching Pepper talking quietly to her children. Monica isn’t sure what precisely her husband saw during that exchange to set off his emotions. But there had been a definite moment when she heard a small, sharp intake of breath by him, and she knew he must have seen one or both of the kids do something that had reminded him of the brother he had laid to rest that afternoon.

"Please, please , just let me hold you and let go," she murmured, hoping he would do what she said instead of continuing to try to fight. For just a little longer, it did seem like he wouldn’t, and Monica felt her heart further shatter., But then he turned around towards her, and what she feared would could true actually came true. The depth of pain she saw in her husband’s eyes made her feel like she was staring into an abyss that she would never find her way out of again. She did the only thing she knew to do in response, which was to pull him fully into her arms, and hold him a tightly as her strength would allow her to.

She cupped the back of his head when she felt him start to pull away, and guided it to rest on her shoulder, "Go ahead and cry or scream or whatever you need to do to let the pain out. I'm here, James. I'm here . I love you, and I'm not going anywhere."

"FRIDAY, have Jim and Monica left yet?"

Pepper's soft question came when a particularly loud crackle in the fire had jerked her out of her thoughts. She didn't know how long it had been since she had curled up on the couch but she sensed it had been awhile.

"No, ma'am, they are outside together on the dock."

"What are they doing?"

"I believe they are talking. Would you like for me to see if I can discern what they're talking about?"

Her eyes widened and she shook her head, "No! Of course not! I don't want to invade their privacy!" It had been nine years since FRIDAY had been brought online but she didn't have the experience JARVIS had had and so there were still moments where she was still learning.

"Let me know when they--"

"I am sorry for interrupting you, ma'am, but General and Mrs. Rhodes are walking towards the house." A short time later when she heard the door open, she turned around to find them both in the doorway. Of course, she didn't fail to notice their fingers were intertwined... or that Rhodey's eyes looked a bit swollen and red.

"Hey," Monica started slowly, "we're uh about to head home."

Pepper nodded, pushing aside the throw she had over her legs, and then got up to go over to them. She went to Monica first because the other woman had her arms open, ready to give her a hug.

"You call us if you need anything ," she said into Pepper's ear, holding her a little longer than she normally would after she felt Pepper trembling a little bit.

"I will," the still freshly made widow returned in a dull voice that did little to disguise the pain she was trapped in.

"I mean it, Pepper. We want you to call us if you need us," she repeated as she pulled back and looked at her.

There was what could only be described as an obligatory nod of her head she turned to the man who had been her husband's closest friend, and before either of them could blink, Pepper's arms were wrapped tightly around him.

Their hug was shorter than Monica would have expected to be between them but then she knew her husband was reaching the end of his emotional rope for the day. He needed to sleep, and hopefully escape his grief during those hours. She watched as he pulled back, dropped his arms, and gave Pepper a nod that she knew said everything he didn’t trust himself to say right now. With that he reached out for her hand again, and they turned to leave.

Pepper wrapped her arms around herself, then she followed them to the door, and watched as they descended the porch steps calling out, “Be careful on your way home, and please let me know when you get there?”

They looked back at her, with Monica voicing a response, “We will. I’ll text you!”

A nod, then after a short pause, “I… I love you both!”

Rhodey looked back at her, their eyes meeting as he managed to get out, “Love you too!”

Chapter Text

They quietly unlocked the door and slipped inside their house. When Monica peeked into the living room while she waited for her husband to lock up again, she found what she had been expecting to find. Her Dad had fallen asleep in his favorite chair, a book laying over his chest with one hand over it. His glasses were resting at an odd angle on his face, and he was lightly snoring. She sensed her husband come up beside her.

"Hey, can you tell him thanks for coming home with Colton tonight and that I'm sorry for not saying good night?" 

Monica nodded, "Of course. Are you going to bed?"

"Yes, I am.." 

"I'll be along shortly. Okay?"

He kissed her, and after one last glance at his father-in-law, he started down the hallway towards their bedroom.

Once he was gone, she padded her way across the room. She carefully removed her Dad’s glasses and set them on the lamp table beside the chair. She didn't bother with trying to get his book away since she knew it'd be taken care of when she woke him up.

"Dad? Daddy?" Monica said softly, trying not to scare him.

Frank slowly stirred, then after a few seconds, his eyes opened. He blinked and yawned before looking at his daughter, “Oh, I dozed off... didn't mean to. What time is it?”

"Almost eleven, Daddy."

Her father sat up in the chair, rubbing the back of his neck, "Where's James?"

"He's getting ready for bed. He said to tell you thanks for coming back home with Colton so we could stay a little longer and he's sorry that he didn't say goodnight to you himself."

He shook his head, "Oh, that man! Thanks aren't necessary, and neither is saying goodnight. I know he's not having an easy time right now. Speaking of which, how is he doing?"

Monica had intended to answer his question with words but the next thing she knew, her father was hugging her, and she was holding onto him tightly.

Frank held onto her as long as she wanted, which was only a minute or two. When she pulled away, and he could see her face again, he saw her eyes were bright with tears. He already had the answer to his question but still she gave him an answer in a pained voice.

"He's hurting, Daddy. He's hurting so much! He and To... Tony were brothers for almost forty years. Forty years!" She shook her head, "It's not right, Daddy! He shouldn't be dead right now! He should have had many more years with us!"

"I know, sweetheart. I know."

"I mean when I think of those precious kids of his having to finish growing up without their father... and... and Pepper had to lose her husband because some ugly alien monster thought he had the right to play God... and how much he hurt my husband by making his best friend... the man he loved as like his brother... Daddy, I can't help but hate him and I know if for any reason he could be brought back, I would be the first one in line to kill him myself . If it were possible, if I ever had the chance, I would have no problems with tearing him from limb to limb for how much he's hurt the people I love!"

"Oh, honey..."

"I know you and Mom taught us to never hate anyone. You always said there was never any reason or excuse good enough to justify hating someone but... I hate him, Daddy! I hate him with every part of my being! I hate him for the hurt he caused and I hate him for... Do you know what it's like to watch someone you love with all your heart be... in so much pain like this and you know there's nothing you can do to make it go away? Do you know how it feels to be helpless like that?"

Her father nodded, "Yes, honey, I do know how it feels. I have known it all too well far too many times in my life. One of the first times was when your Mother died, and I had to watch you and your sister grieve. Then when Darrell was killed in New York. And then again when we lost your sister just a few short years later."

He sighed, "I know this is probably too soon to say this but I think that maybe I need to say this anyway."

Monica felt a bit nervous all of sudden, wondering what her father was about to say to her.

"Look, I know you're angry, Monica, because you're having to watch loved ones try to find their way through what seems like an insurmountable pain that will never go away for them because you have all lost two people that you loved more than words can ever express but..."

Here it comes finally...

"But you hating Thanos isn't going to hurt him. Even if he wasn't dead... or snapped out of existence or whatever he is. My point is that hatred doesn't ever hurt the person who is the object of the hatred, ever. Instead it hurts the person who is feeling it. If the hatred is allowed to go on long enough, it will just eat away at the person, like a cancer."

"I know, Daddy. I know. Right now I don't think that I can help how I feel because... every time I look at my husband and I have to see the pain in his eyes... well it's hard to feel anything but anger and hatred towards him."

Frank nodded, and squeezed his daughter's hand, "I know, it's hard not to be a raging lioness when someone you love is in pain. I understand that. Everything is so fresh right now." 

They were only five days past what the media was calling the Battle of Earth, which meant everything was still all too fresh, vivid in everyone's minds.

"I'm not sure that even the passage of time is going to help this time, Daddy. I want it too. Of course I do, but how do you even get past a loss like we've suffered?"

"I'm not sure you ever get past this kind of great loss, honey, at least not completely.”

There was a sad lilt to his voice and his daughter knew he was thinking about her mother, sister, and all the other people he’d loved that were gone from his life.

“But I do know it is possible to learn to be able to bear the pain of loss of loved ones with the passage of time. It usually comes after a lot of letting yourself feel the pain and after a lot of crying for the love ones you've lost. And you pray... oh you just pray so much, especially on the days when you think you, and everyone else who was left behind too, just can't take missing them for one more second!"

Monica sighed, and wiped a tear away, looking at her father, "No offense, Daddy, but with all that's happened I... I think my faith has been just a little shaken up..."

"It's understandable, given everything that's happened. Is it okay if I ask you if its been shaken to the point where you don't believe in God anymore?"

She shrugged, "I... don't know, Daddy. I don't think I've stopped believing completely but..."

"But you have a lot of questions?"

"Yes, I do."

"And that's okay.”

“You don’t think because I have questions I’ve lost faith?”

“No, I don’t because I believe you can believe and trust in God and still ask questions. I don’t think it’s a contradiction.”

She was too tired to think of anything else to say in response so she just settled on, "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, sweetheart. You know I'll be praying for you and James too."

"Yes, especially for James, Daddy... and for Clint. Both of their hearts are broken."

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted...

"I will, Monica, I promise I will."

"Well, I am going to peek in on Colton and then head to bed. Are you going to bed now too, Daddy?"

"Yes, yes, I am... that is if you don't mind helping an old man get up on his feet?"

"Oh Daddy, of course I will!"

"Now what did I do with my-- thank you!"

Monica made sure he had a firm grasp on his cane before she offered him her hand for him to take.

Frank grunted as he pulled himself to his feet with his daughter's aid, "Thank you."

"You're very welcome, Daddy. Come on, let's go to bed." They walked back together towards the bedrooms where she left her father at his door. She then picked into her nephew and son's room to find the new teenager fast asleep. With a sigh, she quietly closed the door to his room, praying as she went that somehow her husband wasn't going to still be awake like she was afraid he was.

Chapter Text

Monica couldn’t say she was surprised when she slipped into their bedroom, and saw that her husband's eyes were still open. She was glad that she had already gone into the bathroom to get into her pajamas, so she could just slip into her side of the bed. 

"Everything okay?" he inquired.

She could hear the exhaustion in his voice, along with the pain. Her heart felt so tightly clenched in her chest that it was hard for her lungs to draw in the next breath. She had to blink away tears once more when she looked over at the man she loves. She did her best to smile, she nodded, “Yeah, Daddy just wanted to talk a little while is all.”

Her husband gave an okay in the form of a nod but didn't say anything else.

She watched him for a few seconds, Monica kept her voice soft when she spoke his name,"Do you want to talk?"

“No… no not really. I think I just want to get some sleep." He left If I can sleep, that is. unsaid but she had known him long enough to hear the words as clearly as if he'd actually said them aloud.

Not knowing what else to do, she reached her hand out towards him, and as he intertwined his fingers with hers, she then murmured, agreeing with him, "Okay, we'll go to sleep then."

"Goodnight, Moni. I love you."

"I love you too, James. If you can't sleep and I am asleep, don't hesitate to wake me?"

"I uh..."

"It's okay if you wake me up. I promise."

"Okay."

It wasn't exactly an enthusiastic response but she reseasoned to herself, he did give affirmation in some way. It wasn’t satisfying but Monica didn't want to push it so she just gave a nod. She waited until he closed his eyes, before she closed her own. Their day had been so long that it had felt like it would never end, and she knew he had to be exhausted because she was, It  wasn't surprising to Monica when she heard his breathing begin to even out.

"Lord, please help him... help us all with this. We're missing Tony and Nat so much."

She thinks it was probably around two hours later when she woke up and didn’t know why. She stayed awake because she didn’t hear the sound of her husband’s breathing beside her. She turned over, touching his empty side of the bed, and there was no warmth left on the sheets. He'd probably gotten out of bed shortly after she'd finally fallen asleep. After a moment or so, she grabbed her robe, and went in search of her husband.

She tried the living room first. He wasn't there. Next she peeked into the kitchen, and wasn't there either but he had been there, the still warm tea kettle on the stove was evidence of that. Leaving the kitchen, she continued on with her search, walking back down the hallway towards the only other place where she thought he might be inside the house. When she reached her destination, she stopped wondering how she missed the fact the door was partially open, a telltale sign that he was indeed inside since the door was always kept closed.

Knocking softly on the half closed door to his office, she pushed it open, "James?" She received no response as she stepped into the room, “James, honey?”

“Hey, what are you doing up?” he asked, not turning around from large picture window he was sitting in front of.

Not that she could blame him since the window allowed for a gorgeous view of the stars above on a night as clear as this one appeared to be. The view was breathtaking but sad because she knows the man she loves might be staring at them, but his eyes weren’t seeing anything tonight

“I think that's supposed to be my question to you,” Monica said as she moved around his desk and placed an arm around his shoulders.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he finally admitted, "Or I guess it's more accurate to say, I couldn't stay asleep."

"Couldn't stay asleep, hmm?"

"Mmm, yeah."

"I hope that's not coffee in your cup then!"

"Decaf."

"Ah."

"You don't have to stay up with me, you know," he told her after a little bit of silence.

"Yes, I know but I don't have to go bed either." She heard him sigh.

"Look, Monica, I know today was tiring and long for you too. So you can go back to bed. I'm okay, really."

"No, you're not," she replied running her fingers through his hair.

"Mon-"

"James, I know you're not okay because you can't be. Not yet anyway... not when the man you loved like he was your own brother di… isn't here anymore and you don't know what to do with the pain that's causing you. Now I know the circumstances aren't exactly the same thing, because this loss was a very, very sudden one, but I do know that is how you are feeling because I felt the exact same way after cancer took my little sister away from me.”

He nodded, “Yeah, I know I’m not okay okay. But what I meant was, it’s okay for you to go back to bed. I mean there's really not much of a point of both of us missing out on a good night's sleep."

"I would agree with you on that, but do you really think that I will be able to get a good night's sleep if I know that my husband is sitting alone in a dark room instead…” Grieving for his best friend and brother that he’s lost, “... of being in bed with me? I mean would you be able to get any sleep if I were the one out here instead?"

"No, no I guess I wouldn't. I know I wouldn't be able to if..." His voice trails off, and he looks at her, "But I still can't go back to bed right now. Every time… Every time I close... I close my eyes and all I can see is..."

Chapter Text

The sight of the Avengers all, one by one by one, dropping down to one knee in honor of the man who had been his best friend, his brother, was almost a sight more than Rhodey could bear. However, the alternative was he would have to once more take in the sight of Pepper and the Spider-Kid crying their souls out beside the body that had once housed Tony’s spirit. He knew he could not handle watching them grieve and keep what little control he had left over his own. But soon he realized how much he was between a rock and a hard place because it came over him as he continued to watch as those who had never honored his brother in life, and were now daring to honor him in death, wasn’t the best idea option. The only option he had left was to close his eyes, and he embraced it without hesitation. 

He really couldn’t say how long he stood like a sentinel over Pepper and Peter’s grieving forms as they held onto what remained of Tony, but he only moved again when he heard three voices talking in quiet tones close by. The first two voices he identified immediately belonged to Steve Rogers and Bruce Banner, but the third voice, he didn’t know who it belonged to.

“We… we need to move him… soon...” he had heard Bruce say, the gentle green giant's voice thick with grief as well as total exhaustion. 

The unfamiliar third voice joined in on the conversation, sounding somewhat clinical to his ears while at the same time, somehow not sounding completely callous, "Yes, the Stones need to be removed as soon as possible."

There was a lull in the conversation, then he heard Bruce again, "The question is, uh, where are we going to move him to? Thanos, he... the Compound is completely gone."

"I wish to offer a solution." T’Challa had joined the circle of discussion that was far away enough from Pepper so she wouldn't hear what they were saying, yet close enough for all of them to maintain their vigil over Tony and to a lesser degree, the Stones themselves. 

"As King of Wakanda, I would be humbled if my people are given the honor of sheltering the physical remains of Earth's greatest protector until such time he has been laid to rest by his family."

Even though he felt an immense measure of gratitude at T'Challa's offer, Rhodey was sure they would have to turn the king down. He knew that flying to Wakanda from here would take hours, and with the sharp pain of grief in his chest when the realization hit him anew, Rhodey knew they needed to get Tony's body somewhere cold soon if they wanted to keep the decomposition process from going any further than it already had. Before he could muster the fortitude he needed to voice his thoughts, the unfamiliar voice broke in once more.

"If Mrs. Stark gives her consent for T... so that he can be moved to Wakanda, I will open a portal for him to be carried through so he can be taken to Wakanda in a few short minutes instead of long hours."

At hearing this, Rhodey finally opened his eyes, and scanned the four who were gathered nearby. The owner of the unfamiliar voice wasn't quite what he was expecting as he was dressed in antiquated robes, and had a cloak fluttering around his shoulders that looked even more ancient than all the rest of his attire.

He must be the wizard Tony talks... talked about before. 

"If she's even capable of giving her consent right now."

Sam joined the conversation, "Steve, man, I hope you realize just how cold that sounded just now."

"It did?"

"Yeah, man, it did."

"Well, I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I wasn't trying to be cold when I said what I said. I was just imagining how I would feel if I had just lost the woman I love. I'm just worried that she... Pepper is not in a place right now to be able to think about anything other than the fact Tony's de... Tony's de... Tony's gone now." 

"Whether or not she's actually in any condition, the fact remains she is Tony's wife, which means she gets to call the shots when it comes to the disposition of... of his… of him ."

"Even when she's obviously been uh incapacitated?" Steve asked, holding up his hands in  a visible gesture of surrender and peace, "I know what I just said may have sounded cold too but I am not trying to be cold but more on the pragmatic side about this instead."

"You can be pragmatic all you want but it's still her call."

Oh, man, Moni how I wish you could be here to talk to her. At the same time he had this thought, he was also grateful that she wasn't here. The thought of her having come face to face with the terror of Thanos's army, or bearing witness to the agony of watching Tony slip away, made him thankful that she wasn't here now in person to help console Pepper.

When he decided that couldn't take listening to them anymore, Rhodey turned around, exchanged a brief look with Thor who nodded at him, and then stepped closer, as if taking up his former position of guarding. Confident he'd read the Asgardian right, Rhodey walked over to join their circle. 

"Actually, after Pepper it's my call since Tony gave me power of attorney to act on his behalf if something should happen to Pepper too."

"If it comes to you having to make the call, and I mean if , would you be willing to make it, General?"

The fact Rogers had went with using his formal military rank over using his name or even Rhodey didn't go unnoticed by the man he was addressing. But after what just happened, what he'd just lost, Rhodey found himself actually grateful for the formality. Tony had been the one to give him the nickname Rhodey, and to hear it coming from anyone else's mouth when he was lying dead only a few feet away from the spot where he was standing in would be more than Rhodey could bear.  

"Rhodey?"

Of course, the universe couldn’t or wouldn’t afford him the courtesy of everyone here not using Tony’s name for him.

At least it's Banner and not Rogers . he told himself, trying to cut the hurt a little.

"Rhodey?"

Taking a breath, he looked up the green gargantuan, "Yeah?"

"Did you um hear what Steve asked you just now?"

He was glad that Bruce didn't ask him if he was okay since that would have been a very dumb question right at that moment. "Yeah, I heard him." He looked at Rogers. "Yes, I will make the call if and only if we determine that Pepper is actually incapacitated. Otherwise, no I won't do it because it would be stepping on her rights and that's one thing I won't do. I won't step on her rights as Tony's wife. I respect her -- and Tony too much to do that."

Bruce nodded.

"Are we clear on that point?" Rhodey asked after a beat of silence, giving a brief look at each of the members of their circle, with his eyes lingering the longest on Steve, "I know we need to take him off this field, but I won't do anything to hurt her any more than she's already hurting right now."

They all nodded their understanding with Rogers giving his concession to Rhodey with a softly spoken, "We'll follow your lead, General."

With a nod Rhodey looked towards Pepper, "Okay, everyone do me a favor and hang back while I talk to--" He stopped talking when he saw movement from her direction, and turned his head in time to see her straighten up.

They all watched as she pressed one final, gentle kiss on Tony's undamaged, cooling cheek, and set herself back on her knees. She turned towards the kid, obviously saying something to him which they all couldn't hear. The kid's head bobbed numbly, and in the next second Pepper wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and together they rose off the hard ground. As they walked in their direction, away from Tony, Rhodey was sure he was not the only who noticed that Pepper was practically holding Peter upright as the boy was leaning heavily on her.

She was seeing to the kid's well-being not more than half an hour after she had to say goodbye to her husband, just like Tony would have wanted her to.

Pepper Potts Stark really was one of the most amazing, strongest women he had ever known in his life, and he prayed that once the fact Tony was really gone this time became real for her, when it really hit, that she wouldn't be shattered beyond the point of no return.

Pepper guided them both straight towards him, and he took a few steps forward to meet her halfway.

"Jim... he's... he's ..." She stopped, closed her eyes, biting her lip.

For his part, seeing her hurting this much, in obvious such agony she could barely breathe much less speak, made Rhodey want to tear Thanos apart with his bare hands. It is exactly what he would have done too if the Titan hadn't already been erased from the universe like he did to half of the universe three years ago. 

To spare her from having to try to get any more of that sentence out, he put a hand on her free shoulder, "I know. I know he is ."

"He needs to be... to be..." She gave a pitiful sob, her hand flying up to cover her mouth.

The hand that Tony had clutched to his chest, Rhodey realized with renewed agony.

He took a deep breath, praying he could say what he needed to say to her without breaking down himself.

"I know. We'll... I'll take care of him, Pepper, I promise. Don't you worry about that."

Pepper opened her eyes again, tears falling as she nodded, whispering, "Thank... thank you."

There was no need for her to think him ever but he couldn't get the words out before he could see movement out of the corner of his eye. He looked to see an unfamiliar man standing there, dressed in robes that reminded Rhodey of those Strange wore, only different in color. 

The man bowed slightly, then he addressed Pepper, "My name is Wong. At the request of Master.... Doctor Strange, I will take you home now if it is what you wish, Mrs. Stark." 

She nodded but didn't say anything.

Rhodey wondered why Wong was the one who had offered to take Pepper home and not Strange himself. He looked around for the sorcerer, and the man was nowhere in sight. 

Coward , he thought with venom. 

In the meantime, Wong began to move his hands in a circle, and a glowing trail appeared in front of him, much like sparklers on the Fourth of July look when you move them really fast. Then as they continued to look on, Tony and Pepper's home appeared before them in the space between the glowing circle.

The wizard gestured towards the gateway, "Whenever you are ready."

Pepper nodded, then started to walk forward with her arm still around Peter's shoulders. 

"Wait!" Peter exclaimed when they were almost through the portal, "W-we c-can't l-leave M-m... him alone ! We can't! We can't!" The poor kid started sobbing again, laying his head down on Pepper's shoulder.

When her eyes met his, Rhodey could tell that Pepper was nearly at her rope's end. He quickly acted, touching the teenager's shoulder, "Peter, I want you to listen to me, okay?"

The distraught kid gave him a nod, the only indication he gave that he was listening to what Rhodey had to say next to him.

"We're not going to leave him alone... I'm not going to leave him alone. I promise you, Peter, that I am going to stay with him..." he looked at Pepper as he said this, and when she nodded he went on, "And I'm going to see to it that he's taken care of. You need to leave now. You need to go home."

Just like I always have from the the time he was a kid himself no bigger than you are, Peter . 

Now the only way he would ever be able to do anything for him after Tony was laid to rest would be to watch over everyone else he'd loved and had now left behind because of the sacrifice he had had to make. A tidal wave of pain over him at this thought, then  the one after it left him almost breathless. Taking a few more deep breaths, he pushed through with what he needed to say to the boy for he knew Tony had loved Peter as much as he had loved his own kids.

"B-but I w-want to h-help!" 

"I know that you do. I understand that you do. But you're exhausted and do you know what?" he asked, trying to keep his tone gentle yet firm, "I think you need to go do what Tony would want you to do now, what he would tell you to do..." If he were here. "And that's you need to go home now, find your aunt, and get some rest. Okay? Did you understand what I said?" 

Peter nodded his head against Pepper's shoulder, his eyes so dull as he answered, "Yeah, yeah I... I understand." The teen sounded like he was resigned, resigned to the fact that once again, all the adults thought he was just a kid and therefore too young to have to do something so adult to do like what Peter knew Rhodey would be doing within the next few minutes.

He may have thought that he wanted to help them take care of Tony, but Rhodey's greater life experience told him something different. He knew that in the years to come Peter’s memories of this day would be horrible enough without adding the memory of helping to carry Tony's dead body off of this field to their totality. He knew this because he didn't want to have such a memory himself. But as much as it would hurt now that the moment was here, Rhodey knew as much as he didn't want to have to be the one to do it, he also knew he would never let anyone else be the one to carry Tony off the field.

He thought of something else, something he hoped would make the kid feel better about leaving Tony behind. It wouldn't exactly  be the way he had wanted to help, but maybe it would help Peter if the kid did as he was about to be asked to  do. He just hoped that Wong would be patient enough to accommodate this if Peter actually agreed to it.

"There is a way you can help out, Peter," Rhodey began slowly.

"What is it?" 

He inwardly winced at the teen's monotone response. They really needed to get this boy off this field before any more damage was done to him. 

"Look, I know you need to go find your aunt as soon as possible, Peter, because I don’t doubt she's looking for you right now. But could you wait just a little while so you can go with Pepper? Please? I think it’d be a help to her and you could see Ethan and Eva too before Mr. Wong takes you to find your aunt." Rhodey looked over at Wong as he said this, and was relieved the wizard gave him a confirming nod.

"Can you do that for me please, Peter? I'd be very thankful if you would do it." He watched the kid closely, while he made his request. He considered just for a fraction of a second adding the words So would Tony. but he decided against it since they were both emotionally manipulative and hurtful.

Peter nodded, this time lifting his head, and looking at him, "Yeah, yeah I can."

"Thank you, Peter."

The portal Wong had conjured was still waiting for them when Peter wrapped his arm around Pepper. He was now supporting her as much as she was him. As they stepped through the gate, along with the sorcerer, Pepper gave Rhodey a grateful look before she vanished to the other side.

After the portal closed, Rhodey allowed himself a moment to catch his breath before he had to deal with keeping the promise he'd made Pepper. He was dreading what immediately came next almost as much as the fact that in moments he would be picking up Tony's body -- not just his intoxicated, hurt, or wounded body, but his actual dead body.

Oh, please grant me the strength to be able to do this , he thought before he turned around to face the others.

Rhodey could hear the others talking in not so hushed tones now that Pepper had left the field. Of course they were talking about who was going to be the one to carry Tony off  the field. It seemed they'd realized that moving him wouldn't be such an easy task since he was still encased in his dysfunctional suit of armor. He decided to stay put for a moment, listen to their discussion without contributing, and see what direction they were  taking before he said something.

Bruce's voice was the first one he heard.

"I don't know." Without looking at Banner, Rhodey knows that Bruce is scratching the back of his neck, "If the arc reactor wasn't totally de... um drained, we could uh just push the emergency release button on the armor, and uh lift him out." 

"Is there any way we could power up the reactor long enough to activate the release?"

He heard the shrug in the scientist's voice, "I have no idea but I would think the only way to power the reactor this damaged, would be to replace it."

"Which is not an option." 

Thanks, Captain Obvious.

T'Challa's voice broke in, "Since obtaining a new reactor is not an option, someone will need to carry him. But this is only if you do not wish to wait for a transport to arrive from Wakanda." 

"Thank you, Your Majesty, but I'm not sure we have the time to wait much longer before rigor mortis starts to set in."

Man, it hurt to hear the words rigor mortis in a sentence that was about Tony.

"But I thought that was supposed to take a few hours to start setting in." 

It was Sam who had said that, and despite the situation it was so good to hear his brother-in-law's voice again. The last three years without him had been very long ones for both Alyssa, and their kids. The only thing to taint the exuberant relief he knew he should be experiencing at this very moment was the fact he had had to trade one brother's life to gain back two others.

"Normally I would say yes it does. But one of the biggest factors regarding how fast or slow it will set in is the environment." Bruce gestured around at the far as the eye could see smoke and debris. "I don't think this is a very good environment right now, for either him or for us either ."

"Which brings us back to how do we move Tony while he's still in the suit?"

"Well, the truth of the matter is there are only three of us who have enough strength to be lift the Iron Man suit, and with my arm like this," Bruce pointed to his damaged appendage, "There's no way in the world I would be able to pick Tony without out his suit on, so carrying while he is in it, me being the one to carry him is out of the question."

"That leaves you or I to undertake this task," Thor said, looking at Steve, "And because you have always led us on the field of battle, I believe it yours. I yield to you without challenge." 

At hearing this, Rhodey knew it was impossible for him to keep quiet any longer. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Steve starting to move towards Tony, and something inside of him said no, he couldn't just let this happen . Not when he didn't think it was Rogers right or place to do this for Tony. He was Tony's best friend and brother for almost forty years. 

This belonged to James Rhodes and James Rhodes alone .

He stepped up, then placed himself overtly in between his friend and Steve, "Wait a second, Captain. You don't have to carry Tony. I'll carry him."

Rogers halted at hearing his words, looking at him for a long moment before he said, "I will have to carry him. You can't, not while he's still encased in the armor."

"And since we can't get it off," Bruce muttered.

Rhodey ignored the other man, focusing his attention on the one standing before him.

“No, I will carry him!"  he said, giving the supersoldier a sharp look. " I'll carry him because after what happened between you two in Siberia, you don’t have the right.”

The hurt on Steve's face as he replied was unmistakable, “You know Tony… Tony forgave me for what happened there.”

“Did he? Did he really forgive you, or did he just put aside all the hurt and bad feelings over what happened in that bunker because the world… the universe needed him to be the bigger man?" 

"I guess we'll never know for sure, will we?”

“No, but I know… knew Tony a whole lot longer…” And better. “than you did, and I can make a well informed guess as to which one of us he’d want to carry his... him. The fact of the matter is, I am the one who knew him the longest out of anyone standing on this field."

I’m the one who was his true friend, and I’m the one who was his brother through thick or thin . 

"But his armor--"

"Which isn't going to be a problem for me," Rhodey snapped, gesturing to the suit of armor he was wearing, "I know this isn't my old War Machine armor but this suit works almost exactly like it. I can and have carried tanks before when I needed to without any problems or requiring help. Do you have any idea how many tons they weigh?"

Rogers never did learn when to let sleeping dogs lie in peace, and he had his mouth open to continue to object when a hand touched his shoulder. He turned his head towards the person, which was none other than Bucky Barnes.

"Steve, let it go. This belongs to him alone, and not to you ."

It was a relief to see the man actually listen to his friend, and finally stand down. 

After a nod of thanks to Barnes, Rhodey slowly turned around, taking slow breaths as he faced towards the direction where his brother was sitting upright but forever unmoving. It took every ounce of his will to make his feet start moving towards Tony. While he walked, he put down his faceplate again, knowing he was going to need the privacy the mask would afford him if he was going to be able to do this next painful, cruel task fate had bequeathed to him. 

He was hyper-aware of all eyes following his every move as he knelt down beside Tony, so the first thing he did was turn off his comms, both for internal and external communications. For the next few minutes, while he did one of the hardest if not the hardest things he would have to do in his life, he didn't want the voices of the others breaking in the intimacy of the moment.

Or hear him if he couldn't keep holding back the anguished turmoil inside of him forever. He knew sooner rather than later it would succeed in destroying the little composure he had left.

Taking in a deep breath, he focused his attention on what was left of the man he had called his best friend and brother for almost four decades. There was absolutely no movement, nor reaction from Tony, and the cruel realistic part of him had known there wouldn't be. Still the tiny part of him that hoped, had made a wish there would be. He had hoped in this part of him with every fiber of his being Tony would snap out of this. But when there was nothing from him, no response of any kind, and with a grieved reluctance Rhodey knew he had to get on with this. 

"Oh, Tones," he muttered,  looking into those dark brown eyes that had always sparkled with so much mischief and had had such a zest for life in them but were now nothing more than emptied, lifeless orbs. It still didn't seem real to him as he stared into them knowing they would never light up again when Tony's eyes met his or when Tony looked at Pepper and their kids.

"If I could, I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat. You know that, right? I'd do it without... well with almost without any hesitation." He added the last part when he thought of Monica, and Colton as leaving them behind would have been hard. But as he looked down at his brother's face, he really had to wonder if leaving them behind would be any harder than what he was about to do? 

He stared at Tony for another few seconds then closed his eyes, and reached out to grasp Tony's arms when he felt someone touch his shoulder. Jumping a little, he whirled his head around and up to look into Thor's face.

"Thor, what the..." he muttered before he remembered he'd switched his comms completely off. "Thor?" 

Thor didn't speak, he instead reached around to pull his cloak off of his shoulders, and he held it out towards him as an offering. He didn't have to speak for Rhodey to understand what he was offering him, and giving him a nod of thanks, he took the cloak from the demigod. He turned back to Tony, and after a second, he knew he'd need help for this.

"Thor, would you--"

The Asgardian had already joined him on the ground. Then before he had to say anything else, Thor was tender in his movements, as he helped to sit Tony up away from the debris behind him which in turn allowed Rhodey put the cloak over the upper half of his body. The cloak wasn't a perfect solution by any means but at least now Rhodey knew he would be able to carry Tony away from here with him less exposed and with as much dignity as they could muster to give to Earth's greatest fallen hero.

Once Tony was shrouded in the cloak, Thor helped Rhodey place Tony's body across his shoulders in the way he'd been taught how to carry a wounded comrade a long time ago during his days of Officer Training School. Once he had his burden settled on his shoulders, he slowly stood up. He made certain the arm he was holding onto was the one without the Stones.

"Are you ready, my friend?" Thor asked in a low voice

Blinking away tears, Rhodey gave him a nod, knowing that he was as ready as he could ever be to carry his dead brother off of the field that he had died on. As Thor left him alone, he looked for Strange. The sorcerer was still not in sight anywhere for as far as the eye could see, and Rhodey couldn't find it within himself to be either surprised or angry. He couldn't afford to waste energy on either emotion, not when he'd made a promise to Pepper and himself that he would take care of Tony this one last time.

He also wouldn't care about Strange's lack of presence if it were not for the fact the wizard had promised he would help them with getting Tony to Wakanda in a matter of minutes instead of hours. With the hopes that Strange would actually keep his word, he started walking towards where the others had lined up into two single file lines, clearing a path for him to walk right down the middle. The tears started flowing again for him as he came to the realization of what they were doing for the man he carried on his shoulders.

I wish you could see this, Tony. Oh how I wish you could see this! 

He stopped just short of the beginning of the Honor Guard they had formed. His eyes went down both sides, noting right off that Steve was the first one on the end of the left two rows while Carol Danvers stood opposite of him on the other row. Looking away from their familiar faces, his eyes scanned down the rows, noting each person or being as the case might be, that made up the double lines of honor. 

Golden sparks started to appear at the far end of the honor guard rows, and grew larger until Rhodey could see what were clear African plains on the other side with King T'Challa already waiting for them. Rhodey looked over at Rogers, who in turned gave him a nod before he looked straight ahead, straightening to attention.

With a loud voice, he issued a command to all present, "Avengers, ASSEMBLE!"

Chapter Text

Before he crossed onto Wakanda's soil, Rhodey had thought walking down the double line of Avengers while carrying his dead brother on his shoulders had been a very hard thing to do. But as it turned out, it  wasn't as hard as what had come next after he had passed through the portal.

King T'Challa who was waiting on the other side had given a nod of respect before he'd turned around, and yelled something in Xhosa to the Dora Milaje. They, like the Avengers, had formed an honor guard  on the way where a hovercraft waited to carry Rhodey and Tony both the rest of the way into the Golden City.

After a nod to the King, Rhodey started walking to the waiting hovercraft, noting the solemn expressions on the faces of the Dora as he passed. They all looked straight ahead as he passed by them. They were all standing stock still in a complete silence that the only word he could use to describe was reverent. 

By the time he reached the hovercraft, he felt like he’d been walking for hours. He climbed up the ramp. Rhodey found a platform waiting for him to place his burden  on, which he did with all the gentleness that he could muster through his battle, grief exhausted state. He’d stretched his hands  to fix Thor's cloak back into place when he heard Okoye's familiar voice.

"Please, General, allow us." If it had been another time or place, he might have been amazed by how tender the woman’s voice sounded.

He looked up to her standing side by side with another one of the Dora Milaje, holding in between them one of the very same cloaks he'd seen the Wakandan warriors wear on the battlefield against Thanos. He stared at them for a moment, then realized what they wanted to do, he stepped back.

Okoye and the Dora came forward holding the Wakandan cloak between them while a third member of them pulled away Thor's cloak. The Wakandan cloak was placed down over Tony, and they did it in such a way that Rhodey never saw Tony's face. The two Dora that he didn't know then stepped away, and Okoye looked up at him, nodding before she also stepped away to join the others who were already keeping watch over Tony. He then noticed that during the  time all this was going on, T'Challa had also joined them, and was now standing guard over his fallen brother.

A short flight later they arrived at the royal palace in the Golden City, where Princess Shuri, along with Stephen Strange awaited them. Rhodey noticed the presence of the Queen Mother. 

It had been a long three years since the Snap that'd wiped half of the Earth's population from existence, and Rhodey knew this woman's suffering had been greater than most as both her children had vanished. Queen Ramonda had had to rule in the stead of her late husband, son, and daughter in a role she was never to supposed to have had as her own.

Pushing the thoughts of the Queen Mother from his mind, he returned his full attention to Strange as the sorcerer came forward with Shuri. It seemed strange (no pun intended) to see the wizard appear to acquiesce to a girl who Rhodey knew was no older than sixteen or seventeen at the most. Yet Strange held back, allowing her right of passage as they walked towards them.

"Is everything ready?" T'Challa asked in a low tone.

Shuri nodded, "Everything is prepared, brother. We can proceed." 

"Proceed with what?" 

The king exchanged a glance with his sister, then he nodded slightly at Rhodey's direction. 

His sister took the hint he was giving her, and when she turned to address him, Rhodey sensed once more that Strange was deferring to her by allowing her to answer his question.

"The Stones must be removed from Dr. Stark's body," she began simply, then added, "I give you my solemn word, that we will treat his... his remains with the utmost respect."

Rhodey turned on his outside comms just long enough to tell Shuri, "Thank you." 

She nodded, and had turned around to say something to someone he guessed was an assistant. They were moving the litter carrying Tony towards her lab when he blurted out, "I want to stay with him." 

When Shuri did not immediately respond to what he had said, Strange spoke for the first time, "It might take us hours to remove the Stones. Are you sure you want--"

"Yes, I'm sure," he confirmed, looking in Strange's direction, and not hers, "I am not leaving him."

"Very well, if you wish to stay, you can stay but first I must request that you do not wear your armor inside of my laboratory."

Rhodey nodded, "I would like to say that's not a problem but if I step out of my armor, I'm not going to be able to keep on walking." At her quizzical look, he explained, "My leg braces were damaged when... when Thanos attacked the compound, and I left my other ones at home . The only reason I can walk, and use this armor is because To... is because the armor has built in support to help me walk. If I take it off, my old injury is going to win out."

Shuri said something in Xhosa to the assistant, and then she looked at him again while  the assistant returned with something. Taking the item from then she looked again at  Rhodey, "I know you would prefer to walk under your own power, General, but for many reasons your armor will need to remain outside of my laboratory." 

Because it seemed that this would be the only way he'd be allowed to set foot into her laboratory, Rhodey nodded, and pressed a hidden release on his armor. The suit opened up, and he carefully maneuvered himself into the waiting wheelchair. Once he had settled into the chair, he noticed the inquisitive look the Wakandan princess was giving him or rather to his clothes. He gave them a quick glance, then shrugged, "Sorry, I know that my clothes are a little... dirty but I was wearing them when… well I think you know..."

"I understand, General. If you would like to change  into some clean clothing, we can provide you with some?"

He knew she was trying to be tactful about not wanting dirty clothing in her lab, and given the fact that  it would feel good to get out of the battle stained clothes. "Thank you, I'd appreciate some fresh clothes." 

It seems his affirmative answer had been anticipated, and the last person Rhodey expected him brought over a neatly folded stack of clothes, "Thanks... thank you, Your Majesty."

T'Challa's responding smile was gentle, "You're welcome."

"Do you uh have somewhere I can get changed?"

"Of course." T'Challa went around behind him, and started to push the wheelchair.

"What the--"

"Do not worry, General. You will be back here momentarily."

"What? No, that's not what I'm... you... you've gotta be tired right? I mean you... we all just went through probably the biggest battle the Earth has seen and hopefully will ever see. Wouldn’t you like to get some sleep?"

"I could ask you the same question, General, but I will not. I slept for three years before the battle, I think I am able to handle doing this. Besides, we're not going very far." About that time T'Challa pushed the wheelchair into what looked like some sort of a conference room. He locked the brakes on the wheelchair, and as Rhodey watched, he pressed a button on the wall near the door, and the blinds shut themselves. "Before I leave, I wish to ask do you require any assistance?"

"No, thank you, but I think I can manage." 

Rhodey could tell that the king wanted to ask him if he was sure of that, but to his credit, he nodded instead.

"I will leave you alone then. Just open the door when you are finished, and someone will guide you to the inside of my sister's laboratory."

"All right, I will. Thank you."

T'Challa nodded, and left him alone, making sure the door to the room was closed behind him. After he was gone, Rhodey maneuvered out of the battle stained clothes. Putting on the black t-shirt the Wakandans had provided was the easiest part of course because he had full control of movement in his upper body, but putting on the pants was another story. It wasn't easy but he was glad he'd spent some time practicing getting dressed without the aid of a mobility device or help from another person as it enabled him now to get into the sweats all by himself.

Once he was changed into the clothes, he balled up his dirty ones, and threw them into a nearby trash can, taking care to save the broken leg braces. Maybe someone here would be able to fix them for him, he thought. He could probably fix them himself but the thought of touching the insides of something Tony had made for him was just too painful right at that moment. Laying them on his lap, he turned the wheelchair's wheels towards the door, and opened it when he reached it. As he expected (or rather hoped), T'Challa was not the one who was waiting on the other side for him. 

"Are you ready, General?" the young man asked.

Rhodey nodded, maneuvering the wheelchair out of the room, "Yes, I am but you don't have to--"

The young man stepped behind the chair, "It is alright, General. I do not mind at all."

He was far too tired to argue with the Wakandan, so instead he decided to sit back, and just let himself be taken into the laboratory. He wasn't really paying attention to the way there, instead thinking about what had happened today. They'd gotten back those who had been lost three years ago, and he felt so grateful that they'd succeeded. But then as his wheelchair was pushed into the lab, and he caught sight of the cold, metal table where the body of his brother was laying on, the realization of the exorbitant price they'd paid in return came crashing down on him like a tidal wave.

Tony is dead. 

Tony is dead this time, and he's not going to come back from this.

Not this time.

He's dead.

He's dead.

He's DEAD.

Chapter Text

As he watched them begin to work to remove the Stones from the armor, Rhodey wished that he still had his own suit of armor on. He really needed the privacy the face mask could give him right now. But he didn't have it with him, so instead he used every last bit of what he'd learned in the military to wrangle in the grief. There would be time to grieve later, when it was just him alone with Monica. 

Monica.

Oh, man! 

He needed to contact her! The battle had been over for hours now and she had yet to hear from him! As much as he didn't want to do this, he motioned to get the attention of someone in the lab because he liked the thought of leaving his wife in the dark about his status even less! 

It seems mind reading were among the Wakandans many talents (or perhaps it had been Strange he would come to theorize later) because he had just been about to request the use of a landline to call Moni when one of Dora actually appeared with a phone for him. Even after she had been gone for a minute, his battled weary brain was still trying to absorb about what she'd said about the phone's use. Still, the information eventually made its way into his brain, and he dialed his wife's cell number.

The way it rang and rang on her number without an answer made him think that maybe he should have called their home phone number first. He had just decided to hang up when he heard someone pick up on the end other.

"James, hold on just a second," he'd heard his wife almost whisper into the phone.

His response to her had been almost as quiet since he wasn't eager to draw the attention of the young scientific genius (man he wished Tony could have met Shuri properly) or the cantankerous wizard to his conversation. It probably didn't make difference anyway how loud or quietly he talked as they both seemed thoroughly absorbed in the solemn task they were locked into.

He blocked out what they were doing, turning his attention to the phone line, waiting for his wife to come back. He could hear the low murmur of what sounded like voices, and he wondered who was with Monica right at that moment. As she moved around, he tried to identify the voices but he couldn't really make them out enough to do before her heard her voice again.

"Hey, are you still there?" she asked, coming back on the line at last.

"Yeah, I'm here. What's going on there?"

"Oh, you know... just trying to figure things out after... after what's happened. I know you know about the attack on the compound. Yes, I know. I know there was a battle, and I know you fought in it. And thank the Lord I know you're okay."

"I'm sorry that I haven't called before now but..."

"Oh, honey, you don't have to apologize I know what's been--"

He had to say it now before he couldn't make himself any longer, "Tony's dead."

The line was quiet for a second or two then Monica said, "I know, honey. I know." She sounded like she would do anything to be able to reach through the phone and wrap her arms around him.

He wished that she could, and that he could wrap his arms around her too. 

He really wished he was with his wife right now, instead of watching as they started on trying to remove the very magical Stones that had killed him from the corpse of his best friend.

He really wished...

"Wait! How do you know about Tony being... being... how do you know about him? Please tell me the media doesn't already know that he's... gone." 

"No, I didn't hear about him on the news. As far as I know, they don't know yet."

Good, he thought. 

As long as the media doesn't know, then that means the world doesn't either, and that means that everyone who loved him could have a little time to grieve for him before they all had to put on a brave face. He was relieved to know this, especially for Pepper and the kids because out of everyone else in the world, their loss was the biggest.

Pepper and the kids...

Pepper and the...

Oh my...

"Moni, are you with Pepper and the kids right now?" he asked the second the realization hit him.

Part of him hoped that his suspicions were wrong, that she and Colton were both where they should be this morning. But realistically he knew that they wouldn't have kept their normal schedules for the day. They couldn't, not after they knew what the Avengers were going to be doing that day. All the immediate families knew they were going to try to put to right what Thanos did three years ago, which meant they all knew they were going to try to bring back everyone they'd lost to Titan's twisted delusions of bringing balance to the universe. 

Rhodey could not imagine his wife wanting to stay at home by herself with only her and Colton waiting for him to come home. No, if he'd thought about it, he would've known she would have either gone to stay with Alyssa to await news or, as it turned out to be, she'd went to stay with Pepper.

What had she thought when Pepper had left to join the battle?

No doubt she had immediately volunteered to stay with the kids until Pepper and Tony returned home.

But only after she's realized that she didn't have a suit herself!

He could almost smile at the boys' reactions at the thought of her staying there to babysit them. They'd probably made a fuss about not needing one. But teenagers or not (Ethan having only turned thirteen just a few weeks ago), Pepper would've made sure her son knew there would be no argument, and Aunt Monica would be in charge until they got home.

Until they got home.

Those poor kids! 

They'd be waiting for their Dad to return home, probably anxious to tell him about something that'd happened in the few days Tony had been gone to help with the Time Heist.

He couldn't imagine what it was like for Pepper when she had to force out the words telling them that their Dad was never going to come home again. He didn't want to imagine their reactions when the news sank into their hearts, and they realized the awful truth of what their mother had said to them.

Daddy is gone, and he's not coming home again ever.

Did she tell them that Tony had died a hero? That he had died saving not just them, or just everyone who calls planet Earth home, but the entire universe? 

Or had those words seemed too empty to speak aloud at the time? Had those words been too painful?

What did it matter to two kids who had loved their Dad so much that he'd died the greatest hero the world, and universe would ever know?

What did it matter when they'd never hear their Dad's voice again or be able to talk to him? 

What did it matter they'd never hear him say he loved them or hug them tight in his arms again?

What did it matter when his wife had lost her soulmate, and the father of her children?

"James? Are you there?"

As always, his wife's voice grounded him, and helped Rhodey find his way out of the tidal wave of unbelievable pain that was trying to drown him in this very moment.

"James?"

"I'm here."

"I know this isn't the best question and it might be a little dumb too but are you okay?"

As he watched Strange lean over what was left of Tony's right arm, as though he were examining the damage the Stones had wrought, he couldn't help but agree with his wife's assessment of her question.

Yes, it wasn't the best question to ask him right now, and yes if it were anyone else but her, he would agree with was also a dumb question.

"I'm... I want to say I'm okay but I can't. I really can't... can't do it when I had to stand there and watch the light leave his..." He stopped there, knowing that if he didn't, he was going to lose what little control he had left over his emotions, and it was something he really didn't want to do in front of Strange or the Wakandans. He looked up towards the ceiling, and had this been any other time, he would have been flabbergasted by the size of what he saw. 

Monica, the dear woman who loved him more than he ever dreamed he deserved, knew somehow he was struggling to keep a clamp down on his emotions, and so she started saying in a soothing voice, "Listen to my voice, honey, and breathe with me, James. In... out... In... out..."

He closed his eyes, and concentrated on listening to her repeat the same two words over and over again. He didn't know how long she said them, but after awhile he definitely felt in more control of his emotions, and he let her know by a simple, "Thank you."

"Anytime time, baby. Anytime."

Rhodey cleared his throat, and still not removing his eyes from Shuri's very astounding ceiling he asked, "So how's Pepper holding up?"

Monica sighed over the line, "I want to say she's holding up okay, but I think you already know that's not the case. She's in full mother mode right now, which means she's--"

"Trying to take care of Ethan and Eva's needs first."

"Right, which means she's not really processing her own emotions at the moment."

"Well if it helps any, in any degree for you to know this, she... cried for a long time after.... afterwards. I don't know how she held it together while he uh... but she didn't shed one tear until after he..."

"I understand. You don't have to explain any further."

"She's amazing, Moni. So strong... more than I am. With all my training in detaching my emotions, compartmentalizing them, and knowing from the first day I met Tony that it would end this way, I still wanted to scream. Even though I knew it would be in vain, I still wanted to yell for him to fight, to hang on until we could get help to him, and here she was, calmly letting him go. She did everything she could, said everything she within her power to make sure he went as peacefully as he possibly could."

Which now when he looked back on the hours old memory, he knew it hadn't been easy for her in any sense of the word. Between her own sorrow at the fact her love was slipping away before her very eyes, and the fact Peter was all but sobbing in her ear, it is a true miracle she was able to hold herself together as well as she did.

But that was the power love could give someone when they needed it the most, to do what you needed to do for the one you love even if your heart was in the process of shattering beyond recognition or recovery.

"She loved him, James, almost more than anything in the world." She didn't have to clarify what she meant by almost more than anything in the world because she already knew that he knew what she meant. There were only two other people in the world Pepper or Tony loved at least as much as they loved each, and so much more.

Ethan and Eva. 

Their kids had always been their world for them from the moment they were born.

Actually, before they were born, if there were a need to be accurate.

Once he'd gotten over his initial fear that he would screw up at being a father as badly as Howard had been with him, Tony had been so excited about becoming a father, and he could barely wait out the nine months for Ethan to be born. Then as excited as he'd been waiting for Ethan's arrival, Tony had been even more so when they'd found out they were going to have Eva. 

But now all of that was over, and in the past, and neither one of those kids would ever get to experience their father's love firsthand again for as long as they lived.

His wife's voice interrupted his thoughts once more, "James?"

Shaking his head, he rubbed his eyes, "Sorry. I just can't stop thinking about Tony."

"Which is understandable, and only natural. I say this as someone who has experienced this kind of thing before." 

"I know. I know you have."

Of course, he was aware that she understood well how he was feeling right now. Her younger sister Mona had been gone for twelve years now. Her sister had been her best friend growing up, and Rhodey knew there wasn't a day that went go by that Monica didn't think of her or miss her. 

"I know you want to stay with him, James, but why don't you try to get some sleep? Before you say no, I can hear it in your voice. I can tell that you are exhausted."

Rhodey didn't give her a response other than a monotone, "Yeah." 

"Okay, I'm going to hang up now. Please try to get some sleep, James."

"I will."

"Please I mean it, James. Please try to get some sleep... or at least try to get some rest if you can't sleep?"

Rhodey could hear the worry in her plea, "Okay I will try."

"Promise?"

"I um... I'm not sure that I can exactly promise that."

Monica decided to ask him why not, why he couldn't make her that promise right now, because she actually already knew why. It was because of the promises he'd made to both Tony, and to Pepper. She knew her husband would never ever be able to intentionally break those promises to them. She knew to do so would also mean the breaking of his heart along with it, and his heart had been already broken enough for today.

"Okay," she finally said, and not knowing what else to say to him she added, "I love you."

"Me too. I love you too."

"Oh, Dad wanted me to tell you that he is praying for you."

"Thank you. Tell him thank you for me but I think Pepper probably needs his prayers more than I do."

"I'm sure if I tell him you said that, he'd tell me to tell you that God is able to handle sending you and Pepper help at the same time. He is, as my Dad always says, is the Ultimate Multi-tasker."

"And I won't argue with your Dad's wisdom."

"I'm glad. Okay, I am going to let you go now with one last thing I think Dad would want me to tell you: Remember, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted."

"I will. I'll see you soon."

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"James?"

"I just remembered that I wanted to ask you if you have you heard from Tanesha or Lawrence or Alex or from anyone in my family yet?" he asked, holding his breath. 

He really was hoping that at least one of them had contacted her in some way by now. He wanted to know if the price that had been paid was in fact some way had actually been worth it. In terms of what the world had gained back, he supposed yes, the price paid was worth it. But he needed to know for his own sake that his family members Thanos had murdered were along the world's number had been returned to him.

"No, not yet, sorry."

"I hope they're all okay."

"I'm sure they are, and I know that we'll be hearing from them soon."

"Yeah."

"Would you like for me to try to reach out to them? James?"

"No, it's okay. You don't have to yet. I mean since it's not even been a day yet, right?"

"Yeah, like you said it's not been a day yet. I'll wait then, see if they try contacting me."

"But I hope they will try contacting you first since my phone is under rubble." He knew that he didn't need to say that if they called his phone they were going to get nothing but his voice mail, which could scare them if his voice mail was all they could reach because they might think something had happened to him during the past three years.

Their conversation ended soon after this, and before they ended the call, Monica told him she would try to set up to where any calls or messages to his phone would be forwarded to her phone. The thought that she would there to talk to with them should they be seeking him out, without a question helped him to feel better about about the entire situation. 

After the call with his wife ended, Rhodey decided there was one member of his family he would not wait for her to try to call him. He dialed her number and hoped that somehow, someway Tanesha would answer. 

How far are will her eyebrows shoot up to the ceiling when she sees the number? he thought, and just for a few seconds he was able to smile amused at the thought of the look on his sister's face. The phone rang three times before he heard some answer, and he held his breath in hopes it was her.

"Jamie?"

He let out his breath, "Yeah, yeah, it's me, Neesh." 

"Oh, thank you, God! Why in the world is my Caller ID telling me that you're in Wakanda?"

Before he could answer her, he heard her tell someone who was obviously in the room or area she was in that he was on the phone right before he heard another familiar voice greet him.

"Hey James! It's good to hear your voice!"

"No, more than it is to hear yours, Ervin!"

"So will you please tell me why are you calling me from Wakanda of all places?"

"I uh..." he started, looking across the room where scientists and a wizard were working to remove the Infinity Stones.

How did he tell his sister the news about Tony? 

"James, what's wrong?" she asked, concern in her voice.

He had to swallow hard as he tried to get the lump in his throat down. After several swallows it was still there. He needed to answer her question before she began to get worried, "I don't know if you've been able to hear any news yet but... but something really big happened today. Or was it yesterday? I'm not sure the hours seem to be running together, and I'm tired. Oh man, I'm so very tired."

Tanesha didn't say anything for a moment then she said, "You're scaring me, Jamie. What happened? Why do you said so... like you're despairing?"

"I think maybe it's because I am."

"Oh my... someone died, didn't they? Who? Who is it, Jamie?"

Rhodey can see in his mind's eyes the look on his big sister's face. There is an anxious fear as she waits for him to answer her question. He doesn't like the idea of it being there or the cause of it and he hates the fact that sorrow will soon replace the fear. 

"Nat."

"Who?"

"It's Natasha," he repeated around the painful lump.

"Oh, Jamie..." 

She had only ever met Natasha a few times over the years, the first time being at her brother's wedding, and then once or twice since then at other family related gatherings. Natasha had been nice, and interesting to talk to, which had presented an interesting conflict with the fact that Tanesha knew a little of her past history and how the name Black Widow had meant something far different in those days. She also knew that her brother considered Natasha not just a comrade in arms with both of them being Avengers but that he also saw her as close friend. Regardless how she had died, she knew it was a wound not just for her brother but all of them, and especially for Natasha's family.

"I'm so--"

"We didn't just lose Nat."

"What do you mean, you didn't just lose Nat?"

So taking a deep breath he explained to her the exact meaning of those words by telling her why half the universe was turned to dust, how they undid it, and what happened at the end of the biggest battle Earth had ever seen. He told her about the Infinity Stones, and how in the end, what Tony had to do to stop Thanos from getting his hands on them again.

"But didn't you say that they were too powerful for any normal man or woman to wield without being killed?"

"Yes, I did."

"Oh, no that means... that means that Tony... Tony is..."

"Yeah."

"Oh, Jamie, I am so sorry."

He looked over at his brother's body, "He only lasted a few minutes after... after using the Stones. He did to Thanos what he did to you, and to half of the universe. They all turned to dust, every last part of that ugly grape's army. He was the last one to go... Thanos that is. Tony got to see it, at least, at least I hope that he got to see it with his own eyes, and that he... went knowing that Thanos would never be able to hurt anyone ever again." 

Tears ran down his face and with Shuri and Strange's attention fully occupied with their task, he didn't feel the need to wipe them away. He didn't want to hold them in any longer, and didn't really want to. He heard his sister's voice speaking gently, and she was asking him a question.

"Were you... there when he... he..."

She couldn't finish, and she didn't need to. 

"Yeah, I was... was there when he... I was the first to f-find him after he..."

"You don't have to tell me anymore, Jamie."

She was crying, he could tell from the sound of her voice, and he knew it was for him more than it was for Tony. But it was okay, because yes Tanesha knew him

"I didn't even say anything to him, Neesh. I didn't say a word to him before he... I found him before anyone but it was only about ten seconds before Pe... before someone else found us, and my chance was over. There was so much I wanted to say, Neesh, but I couldn't make myself say anything... and then... then..."

"Oh Jamie..."

"There was just no time, Ta. No time at all. The Stones were too powerful... too powerful for him him to use and not kill him."

"Something Tony knew when he used them. He knew he would die, but from what I understand of the situation, he also know there was no other choice."

"Yeah."

"I'll tell you something else Tony knew too, Jamie, and that is how you felt about him. He knew that all going in and I know in the final moments he had, he still knew. I know you wanted to tell him again in words, but he still knew."

Chapter Text

At nine and a half, Eva didn't often get out of bed in the middle of the night like she used to when she was little. It was a good thing too, Tony decided, because it meant him and Pepper didn't have to worry about her getting into something she shouldn't while they were both asleep. Of course, his baby girl couldn't have gotten into too much mischief before JARVIS would have alerted them to the fact she was up, but even so, he was still glad that Eva tended to sleep through the night more now than she got up.

So it was very much a surprise for him little Miss Eva decided that tonight of nights was the perfect night to rekindle her get out of bed in the middle of the night habit. Of course she did so with the most perfect timing in the world which was of course after he had made a major discovery. The problems with making major discoveries was meant he was quite absorbed into what he was doing that when he finally noticed she was up, he exclaimed a word he tried not normally say around either one of his kids. 

But it wasn't until he heard her gasp, and then say, "Oh, Daddy, you said a bad word!" that he even realized she was up, and that she standing right behind him.

Tony whirled around, and smoothly (he hoped), tried to take care of the fact that she had noy only heard him curse, but had heard him curse in grand fashion.  He raised a finger to his lips, the universal signal for shh, he'd said, "Yes, oops I said a bad word, princess and I shouldn't have. But sometimes they, the bad words that is, just slip out even when you don't mean for them to. Now that's not an excuse or a good reason for saying them but it slipped out and I apologize for saying it. You know you're not supposed to repeat the word you just heard me use, right?"

Eva nodded, "Yeah, I know."

After pressing a button to make sure his work was saved, he went over to her. "Why are you up, little miss?"

The little girl shrugged, "I had to go to the bathroom, and couldn't go back to sleep."

Although he couldn't imagine what in the world it could possibly be, her Daddy still had to ask the question, "Do you have something on your mind, sweetpea?" 

Eva appeared to think about his question, then shook her wild little bed-head head, "No, Daddy."

"So you just can't sleep, huh?" he asked, crossing his arms, leaning back in his chair.

"No, I can't."

"And what would you suggest we do about it then, little miss?"

Again, she seemed to be considering his question, and the moment she had an answer her face lit up, "I know what we can do, Daddy!"

Tony was fighting to keep his amusement off of his face as he wanted to appear at least a little serious during her late night excursion out of her bed, "And what is that?"

"We can work on my robot!"

Oh, yeah, he had seen that answer coming a million miles away. She really did need to be in bed, but the wide eyed, excited look on her face told him that making her return to bed right now was not the best idea. It wasn't the best idea because unfortunately the love of mechanical things was not the only thing she had inherited from her old man. Oh, no Eva had also inherited a form of his insomnia too. Thankfully it seemed to mild when compared to his own, but she still had inherited it nonetheless.

"Please, Daddy?" the little girl added when he didn't respond.

He glanced at the clock, and nearly whistled when it was even later than he thought originally. He knew he really should tell her no, and take her back to bed, but the pleading in those little eyes that reminded him so much of his wife's made it impossible for him to tell her no.

"Okay, kiddo, we can work on your robot," Tony finally said, holding up a hand before she got too excited, "But only for half an hour, and then you are going back to bed, princess."

Eva deflated, "But what if I am not sleepy by then?"

"Then we'll deal with it then. But for right this second, if you want to work on your robot, you have to promise me that you won't fuss when I say it is time for you to go back to bed. Okay?"

She nodded, "Ooookaaay!"

He kissed the top of her head, held out his hand for hers, and led her little own workbench, and taking a seat he watched as she uncovered her project. She was so excited to be making a robot of her own, and she was quite good at it too. He had only started to teach her had to create the circuitry needed to make a robot for about a short time ago when she had started to show an interest in learning robotics after a school project. 

They were taking things slowly, partly because he wanted to sure she was understanding what she was learning but mostly because he loved spending time teaching her to do something he had loved doing for as long as he could remember. It was also going slowly because he had been teaching her how to use each tool correctly, including a soldering iron. He was especially careful during those lessons because he didn't want her burning herself with it (he couldn't stand the thought of her scarring her hands or arms up with burns like he had), which meant she was only allowed to use the iron when he was with her to watch her.

Her robot (whom she had named Doug), was still in the middle of the creating the circuitry stage of development. So for her to work on Doug tonight she needed one tool in particular and he took out the soldering iron, turning it on to heat up for her. He then moved out of her way when it was hot enough, giving her the gentle reminder, "Do you remember when I showed you how to hold this, sweetie?"

Eva nodded, "Yes, I remember, Daddy."

"Okay, go ahead and pick it up then," he told her, then watched as she picked it up safely.

Once she had it in hand, he picked up the magnifying glass, ready to use in case her young eyes couldn't see what she was doing. She hadn't needed it often (ah the marvels of youth) but when she did, there was no way Tony was going to trust DUM-E to be of any real usual help in that area. (DUM-E had been wounded by this, and had pouted in the corner until Eva had told him that he was a good boy and that she would play with him soon).

Their late night together in the workshop went too fast, especially since JARVIS had discreetly set a timer after they started working on Doug the robot. Eva was having so much fun, and was so intently working on her creation that Tony used his phone to tell JARVIS to up the time by ten more minutes, figuring those extra minutes would not be harmful. But time still ran out for their session too soon, and as much as he wanted to, when 40 minutes were up, he told Eva to cover up Doug's innards while he put away the soldering iron.

He was glad that his little girl didn't protest being told it was time to quit and for her to go back to bed. He did see her pouting just a little out of the corner of his eye as he walked hand in hand with her to her bedroom. Then just he'd done earlier with Pepper present, he watched her get into bed, and pulled up the blanket over her. 

"Goodnight, princess. Sweet dreams. I love you, baby."

"I love you too, Daddy. but..."

Tony had started to close her door, and stopped, "But what?"

"But I'm not sleepy!"

"Eva--"

"I'm not, Daddy."

"Eva, didn't you make a promise before we worked on your robot that you would go back to bed without fussing about it?"

"Yeah, but--"

"No, buts about it, princess. You promised Daddy that you would do back to bed without any fussing."

"But I'm not sleepy!" she said, crossing her arms.

"Then just lay there, quietly in your bed with your eyes closed, and soon you'll be back to sleep."

"But that doesn't work, Daddy!"

"I bet it does too work!"

"Daaaaaddy!"

"Eeeeeeva!"

She huffed, then turned over so she was facing away from the door, and him. Tony watched her for another minute, then electing not to continue to argue with her, softly shut the door. Well, given the attitude she had had when he left her room, he knew he would have to reconsider letting her get away with being out of bed when it was late and a school night. He knew he especially needed to reconsider it because she had broken her promise not to be difficult when it came time to go back to bed. The next tine this happened, he would just have to tell her than working on Doug could wait, and send her back to bed whether or not she could go back to sleep.

He imagined what Pepper would say if she had witnessed the entire episode. 

"She's nine and a half and she still has you wrapped around her little finger, Mr. Stark!"

He would come back with some witty retort, he knew, to which his wife would likely laugh, and then tell him, "Since the day she was born, you've been her favorite ring to wear on her little finger, and you always will be!"

Shrugging, he ran a hand over his face, and started up the hallway again, "JARVIS, is Eva asleep?" 

"Yes, Sir. She fell asleep approximately two point nine minutes after you exited her room."

"Did the laying there with her eyes closed thing work or did she just fall asleep not meaning to?"

"I believe it was a combination of both techniques, Sir."

Well, whatever the reason, he was glad she was asleep again like she was supposed to be right now. He returned to his workshop, and called up the discovery he'd made before Eva appeared out of thin air. He sat down on the bottom step where his little girl had been sitting, and stared up at the model.

"J, are you sure this'll work?"

"There is a 99.9% certainty that the model rendered will succeed in accomplishing your desired goal, Sir."

"Which is time travel aka travel through time itself, and zip back to the past where the Stones still exist." 

"Yes, Sir, I believe that is the intended goal."

No, the intended goal as JARVIS had put it, was to get back Peter Parker from the oblivion Thanos had callously condemned him and untold trillions of lifeforms to. 

But he didn't feel the need to say that out loud. Instead he did ask, "JARVIS, is it possible to apply this in a way where I and everyone else will be able to safely navigate through the quantum realm?" He laughed at that last part, as it sounded oh so ludicrous that he couldn't believe he'd just asked that out loud.

"I believe so, Sir."

"Don't give me false hope, J."

"I'm not, Sir. I fully believe the goal of navigating through time via the quantum realm Mr. Lang spoke of, is possible."

"Then get things set up and ready to go."

"Yes, Sir."

"But first I need to have a talk with Pepper. Is she still up, by the way?"

Part of him had hoped that his wife was fast asleep so the conversation he needed to have with her could be put off a little but longer.

"Yes, Sir, she is."

Tony sighed.

Chapter Text

Rhodey had been on the far side of the battlefield taking down more nightmare inspired creatures than he'd cared to count of remember when an all too familiar flash occured. They were more of the same demented things he remembered seeing three years ago when they fought Thanos's army, and lost to Thanos himself, in Wakanda. At the time he thought they'd killed all of the twisted minions of Thanos since all of them seemed to be gone after Thanos had snapped his fingers. Judging by the sheer amount of them now, it looked like he'd been very wrong about these ugly things being all dead.

He had continue firing on the enemy, switching for one weapon to another when his ammunition ran out. It took a lot for that to happen, for him to run out, because Tony had made sure he was well stocked, but nevertheless he did run out on a few things. He'd just finished taking on one of the bigger uglies, had just turned around when there was one of the brightest flashes of light he'd ever seen. Fear immediately flowed through him because the flash matched the brightness of the flash that they'd all seen when Bruce had used to the Stones for the reverse snap.

When Thanos's armies began to dissolve into dust just a millisecond later after the flash, was confirmation enough that someone, on their side had used the Stones on the Gauntlet that Tony had made.

Oh, Lord, please don't it be Tony!

"Tony?" he heard Pepper's voice inquire on the comms.

The fear that he had heard in her voice had instantaneously increased his own, especially when Tony never replied to his wife. He immediately began using his suit to track the source of the flash because he knew if it were Tony, then the brother of his heart didn't have much time left.

If the radiation hadn't killed him already! the cruel thought taunted him.

No! He's not gone! Not yet! You've got to FIND him now, Rhodes! If you want to say goodbye to him, you have GOT to find Tony!

A split second later, the location of the flash came up on his HUD, and he flew there as fast as it was safe. He didn't bother telling anyone the coordinates as he knew everyone who was watching would be able to see where he went, and soon he landed a few feet from the spot. 

He retracted his helmet, and used his own sight to scan the area. At the moment he spotted Tony half laying, half sitting up against some wreckage, his worst fear had been realized. Pushing down the grief that had immediately wrapped itself around his heart, he walked over to Tony, and fought his tears as Tony raised his eyes to look at him. 

The right half of his face was severely burned, almost beyond recognition, and Rhodey knew as long as he lived, he knew he would never see anything that would grieve him as much as the sight of Tony dying right before his eyes.

Is he in pain? The brief thought was almost more than he could deal with.

If the logical part of his mind could work in that moment instead of the pure agonizing emotions, he may have remembered that Tony's burns were so severe that he wouldn't be feeling much if ANY pain from them because the nerves would have been destroyed. But in the end, the thought would have been of little comfort, not when someone he loved was still dying right in front of his eyes, and there was nothing he or anyone could do to stop it from happening.

But none of this really went through his mind right then. Instead he knew that he needed to concentrate on trying to do whatever he could to make sure Tony's last moments would be as peaceful as possible. This meant putting on a brave face, not losing his composure, and he was never more thankful for all the time he had spent in the military then he was in the moment he had to say goodbye to his brother. 

So he smiled (sadly) at his best friend, then reached out to touch his face, while praying that Tony could see both how proud of him he was in this moment, and how much he loved him. Tony returned the smile as best he could, and maybe he imagined it, but Rhodey was sure that he saw the love he was feeling reflected in Tony's eyes.

He had been about to tell Tony that he would make sure Pepper and the kids were okay but never got a syllable out because he heard someone coming up behind him. He gave Tony one last sad smile, and then he moved aside to allow Peter to come closer to the dying man.

He watched Peter kneel down close to Tony, saying Tony's name in a hesitative way, "Mr. Stark?"

He had he knew how Tony had mourned Peter like he would have mourned the loss of one of his other kids, and for him not to have the strength to be unable to talk to or even hold the teen now. So when Tony looked at the boy, without saying anything in response to him, it was then that it was confirmed for Rhodey that Tony was dying.

Where's Pepper? Oh, please let her get here before he...

It would only be later that Rhodey realized that Tony had been fighting to hang on so that he could see the woman he loved one last time.

"Hey, Mr. Stark? Can you hear me? It's Peter. Hey. We won, Mr. Stark!" Peter said, his voice growing more frantic, and distressed when he received no response. "We won, Mr. Stark. We won. You did it, sir. You did it." The distraught boy was now hugging his dying mentor, and it was almost more than Rhodey could watch after a flash of Ethan doing the same thing flashed through his mind.

Ethan and Eva were never going to see their father alive again. They had both said bye to him just a few days ago, expecting he would come back to them completely whole with their brother by his side. But now, thanks to one murderous despot who couldn't stay dead, they were never going to see the man who loved them more than anyone or anything else, again.

Peter's sobbing voice brought Rhodey out of his thoughts, as the kid clung to his dying best friend, repeating over and over the words, "I'm sorry, Tony..."

Afraid that that Peter's distraught state was distressing Tony, he had just been about to try to intervene when he heard the sound of metal armor landing. He turned his head in time to see Pepper just before she passed by him, and with all firm gentleness, moved the sobbing teenager away from her husband. He put his hands on Peter's shoulders, and moved the boy back a few feet from the couple so that Pepper could have these final intimate moments with her husband with some semblance of privacy.

Pepper dropped to her knees beside her husband, Tony smiling as much as he could when he saw her face. His voice was barely more than a whisper when he said, "Hey, Pep." 

Her eyes were bright with tears as she placed her hand on his arc reactor, "JARVIS, vitals?"

"Vital signs are critical," the AI said, then added with voice soft, strained with only what could be called grief added, "Goodbye, Sir."

Then it was another twisting of the knife already buried deeply in Rhodey's heart when he saw Tony lay his hand over Pepper's. Here he was dying before their eyes, yet he didn't stop trying to give his wife whatever comfort with whatever he had the strength left to give, and his brother standing nearby knew that he never would as long as there was any breath left in his body. 

Just as he had when he had been strapped down to the execution gurney five years ago, waiting for them to pump a lethal combination of drugs into his veins. 

Only this time, it was far worse because James Rhodes knew with all certainty that there would be no last second reprieve as there was that night. No there was nothing, absolutely nothing, that anyone could do that would stop Tony from dying this time.  

"Tony, look at me," he heard Pepper say, and he turned his eyes towards them again. 

Tony's eyes were beginning to dull, and Rhodey could see that he was having a hard time focusing them. Still, all the same, Tony turned his head towards the sound of his wife's voice, and Rhodey could see how he was struggling to listen to the woman he loved one last time.

"You don't have to hang on anymore. I know the only reason the Stones didn't... kill you instantly is... because you refused to let them. I know that you... wanted to see us again... not for you, but for us. You have, Tony, you have. You were here long enough so that we got to see you again, and you don't have to stay for us any longer. You can go now. It's okay."

If it were not for the tears blurring his vision, Rhodey may have seen the near imperceptible nod his brother gave his wife. A few seconds after Pepper's last words fell into the silence, Tony's head turned a little to side, and his hand that had been holding onto his wife's, fell limply to the ground.

Bye, Tones. I love you, man.

"Oh my... did he... is he?" 

Rhodey heard the kid's voice ask through the surreal fog of loss. He nodded, and answered gently, "Yeah... yeah, he did."

"Nooo! He can't!"

He was exhausted physically, and mentally to the very depths of his soul yet somehow Rhodey was able to catch the distraught teen before he could rush forward to Tony's side.

"Let me GO! Let me GO!" Peter yelled, trying to get free.

"Peter, no listen to me!"

The teen struggled on, trying to get loose, and would have succeeded in reaching his goal had Steve Rogers not joined them. He grabbed the kid by the arm just as he was about to hurry over to the side of the fallen hero. Peter immediately started struggling with the new person holding him back.

"Stand DOWN, Queens!" Rogers said in a voice gentle yet firm at the same time.

His tone of voice finally got through to the distraught boy, and he stopped struggling to get loose. He went limp, and Rhodey was grateful that Steve had decided to intervene since Peter's momentum would have ended with him doing a face plant. Steve caught the teen before he hit the ground, and then held onto him as Peter began to sob. 

Chapter Text

Tony mentally cursed, then said, "Please tell me she is not up doing paper work at this hour of the night."

"No, Sir.  I believe Mrs. Stark is currently engrossed in her book."

Well, there was no use in putting this discussion off any longer. He got up, and went to their bedroom, quietly entering the room so he wouldn't startle his wife. Pepper was indeed laying half reclined in their bed, propped up by some fluffy pillows, with her nose buried in her book. He wasn't quite sure what she was reading, other than probably some steamy romance novel that made him want to roll his eyes. So engrossed in her book, she failed to notice his entrance. Instead of drawing her attention in that moment, he walked around to his side of their bed, and crawled in.

"Hey," he said, quietly.

She didn't even look up, "Hey."

"What are you reading?"

"Force of Gravity," she replied, still not looking at him.

"Force of..." he stopped, and moved around so he could see the book's cover.

Yep, it was definitely one of those steamy romance novels she still read from time to time.

"Uh, I need to talk to you, honey."

"Can it wait a minute or so? I'm at a very critical part of my book and I can't wait another to read it."

"Well, it's kinda important."

"But I think Randolph is about to propose to Delilah and the psycho serial killer he's, Randolph that is, that he's been tracking is going to show up and try to kill them both!"

Tony did roll his eyes at that and sighed, loudly, laying back on his pillow free side of the bed. When he hit thin air instead of pillow, he eyed her pillow pile and discovered that his pillow was one of the ones holding her up. Unbelievable! She always fussed if he even so much looked at her pillow and yet here she was using his! Sighing again, he locked his fingers behind his head, and waited for her to finish the critical part of her book.

Pepper eyed him out of the corner of her eye when he kept sighing. It wasn't a very loud sound but it was annoying, and breaking her concentration. She grabbed her bookmark, and placed it inside, closed the novel, then laid it on the nightstand. Pulling his pillow out from under her, she plopped it on his chest, and watched as he fluffed it before putting it under his head.

"Thank you," he said.

She nodded, "Now what was it you needed to talk to me about?"

"I figured it out."

"Figured what out?"

"Time travel."

"Come again?"

"Okay," he said, sitting up, and moved so he was facing her. "You know how Steve..." It was still difficult for him to say the other man's name. let alone forgive him but that was another matter entirely. "and Nat and Barton and Lang all came by for an unannounced visit today?" Of course, it was kinda hard to announce Lang beforehand since the man had been missing for the last three years, not to mention, presumed to be among the dead victims of Thanos.

She nodded, and waited for him to continue.

"And how I told you they said they might have a way to actual do time travel thanks to Lang reappearing from wherever the heck he was these past three years?" Of course he actually knew where Scott had been for the last three years, but the concept was still so ludicrous that he was still having a hard time wrapping his head around it. 

"Yes, I remember. Didn't you say that was impossible?" 

"I uh did say that it was impossible at the time, but I just found out it wasn't as impossible or even ludicrous as I originally thought. You know when after dinner I said that I was going to fudge around in the workshop, test some ideas and thoughts that kept bouncing around the old noggin?"

"Yes," she said slowly.

"Well, the ideas slash thoughts that kept kicking around were to do with the possibility of time travel. Lang says he has the means for us... I mean them to be able to do it, but the problem is, uh currently it can't be done in a safe way. Or I should say it was the problem."

"Was the problem? Wait, does that mean what I think it means? Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"It depends," he said, reaching for one of her hands, and brought it closer so he could kiss the back of her knuckles, "if what you think I'm saying is actually what I'm saying."

"Tony."

He kissed her hand again before she pulled it away, giving him an exasperated look. With a nod, he said, "Right, if you think what I'm saying is that I figured out how for us... them to travel through time, then yes that is exactly what I'm saying."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"You actually figured it out?"

"I did."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

Tony didn't fail to noticed how his wife looked both awed and scared out her mind at all the same time. He reached out, and took her hand again, bringing her out of the thoughts she had gotten lost in, "You know, just because I figured it out, doesn't mean it has to be used right? I mean I could just tell JARVIS to erase it all, and we can just go to sleep right now."

Pepper nodded, her eyes locked on their hands. She had moved her hand so she could intertwine her fingers with his as she thought about what he has said, and the now real possibility that what Thanos did, all those people he murdered, could be brought back to life. It meant that everyone they had loved and had lost could be brought back. It mean that there now an end in sight to the agony of indescribable loss they had all been enduring for the last three years. They could end the longing, the unbearable, aching of emptiness their arms had felt, when at last they were finally able to hold the people they loved again in their arms.

Peter. Tony could bring back Peter. The end of her husband's agony where the kid was concerned was within in sight. 

"Yes, you could tell JARVIS to just erase, and we could go to bed," she agreed, raising her eyes to look at him, "But I know you, Tony, well enough to know that simply erasing the information off of a computer won't be enough to make you forget the fact that a solution exists now." 

"And since no one has invented brain bleach or the memory eraser thingy they had in the Men In Black movies, what exactly am I supposed to do with this knowledge?"

"More to the point, how would you be able to live with that knowledge that you could have helped everyone and didn't?"

"Yeah, how?"

Pepper paused, considering what she would say next to him.

"You can use it... you have to use it to help the people he hurt one more time."

He sighed, tilted his head back to rest against the headboard, and stared at the ceiling, "If I do this, if I help everyone else, it could come with a big price tag. You know that right? I mean messing with time is a very risky business, Thanos or no Thanos."

"I would be surprised if it wasn't risky somehow, and I expect it to be. But just so we're clear, you're not just talking about one of you doing something to erase your own existence, are you?"

He rolled his eyes, smiling and shaking his head, "No, I'm not. Thank you so much Back To the Future for giving everyone totally screwed up views about how time travel works. It doesn't quite work like it does in the movies."

"Then how does it work exactly?"

"It's complicated."

"I can follow complicated, you know that. Remember the Gardner-Hammond contract?"

"Oh, I can remember you going on and on... uh talking about how complicated the Gardner-Hammond contract was, but I'm not sure I really remember anything else about it."

"You don't remember anything about it?"

"No, sorry."

"You are unbelievable!"

"What? Handling boring business stuff has never really been my forte, you know that."

"Yes, but I would think you'd remember something about one of the biggest contracts we were ever awarded!" she exclaimed, shaking her head.

"Well, I don't. Now anyway, as I was saying before, time is complicated in another scientifiaky way, and I'm not sure there is a way to really explain what I mean."

"Scientifiaky way?"

"Yeah, scientifiaky way."

Pepper didn't bother to hide her giggle.

"What? You don't like my--"

"Completely made up word?

"Heeey, science is not a made up word!"

"No, but I bet scientifiaky totally is a made up word!"

"Okay, Mrs. Stark! Care to make a wager?"

"Maybe some other time."

"Oh, scared you'll lose, hmm?"

"No, far from it! I just think we're--"

"Translation: me!"

"We're off track, and we're getting more off track by the second."

While a hint of his playful, amused smile remained, most of it disappeared from Tony's face, and he nodded, "Yeah, we are. I guess I just don't want to have to face the decision I know I need to make. And I don't want to find in favor of the way I know I have to make it because if any goes wrong, and I mean anything... Pep, it might mean that--"

Pepper reached up to quieten him by placing her fingers over his lips, "No, don't say it... whatever it is you were going to say." She slowly lowered her hand.

"But shouldn't we talk about what could hap--"

She cut him off this time by crashing her lips against his, and stopped him from talking for over a minute by keeping the kiss going.  It only ended when they both needed to take a breath. She reached up, stroking his hair, pleading, "Please don't. I know it's dangerous and I know what coiuld happen so... just don't."

"Okay, I won't then."

"Thank you."

Tony nodded, then returned his eyes to the ceiling, "If I'm going to do this... going to be a part of the insane time heist like Lang is nuts enough to come up with, and do my part to make traveling through time as safe as I can, then I'm going to have to spend some time working tonight."

Pepper nodded, "Okay. How long do you think you'll be tonight?" When she heard him sigh, she knew she had her answer. "It's going to be an all nighter, huh?"

"As much as I hate it, yeah I think it is going to be an all nighter."

"Oh."

"Yeah, and believe it or not I'm not really looking forward to it."

She actually could believe his statement because for the most part since their kids had been born (and since he started getting a little older), Tony's all night tinkering sessions in the workshop were no quite a thing in the past, they came at a less frequent pace. Being a full time dad had been good for him in more ways than one, such as helping to regulate his sleep patterns. Oh, his insomnia hadn't gone away one hundred percent but it had improved to where he got more sleep than he used to before he married Pepper and before their kids were born.

"Actually I can believe it."

"So, I guess you're going to read a little more and head off to bed, hmm?" he asked, a wistful air in his voice.

"No, uh actually if it's okay... if I won't be a distraction for you, I would like to go with you down to the workshop."

"Why? It's going to be a long, and probably super boring night... for you it would be anyway."

"I don't mind or care."

"You don't?"

"No, I don't. I don't mind or care how boring it is at all. I'd just like to be able to be in the room with you."

"Okay, you don't mind but I do. I mean don't you think at least one of us should have a good night's sleep?" 

"I know the kids have school tomorrow, and I know you think one of us needs to be able to function in the morning to see them off."

"Well honey, you have to admit that at least one of us being functional in the morning would be helpful."

"And I will be... or at least functional enough as I'm more a morning person that you are, and always have been more of a morning person than you, Mr. Stark." 

It was true, he realized. He could recall many years worth of memories, both when she was his personal assistant, and then after he made her CEO of Stark Industries being bright, somewhat chipper in the mornings. She was even that way when many of those mornings came after a very late night.

Which were usually always my fault, he thought bitterly, kicking himself.

"Besides," she continued, interrupting his thoughts, "I can take catnaps throughout the night. So I don't think you need to be worried about whether or not I'll be able to function tomorrow morning. I'll be able to make it fine with just a few catnaps here and there."

"Okay, if you're sure that you really want to spend the night on couch in the workshop?"

Pepper nodded, "I'm sure."

"Well, then let's get this party started," he said, standing up from the bed.

With a nod, his wife did the same, and after she grabbed her book, she followed him out of their room. 

Tony waited until they were done the hallway, past both the kids' rooms, to turn to her, "About tomorrow morning, there is something I think I should you about..."